


Let Your Heart Be Light

by imatrisarahtops



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Christmas, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Love, Marauders' Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-14
Updated: 2015-12-14
Packaged: 2018-05-06 15:01:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5421419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imatrisarahtops/pseuds/imatrisarahtops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily celebrates seven Christmases at Hogwarts, and each year, she helps spread the holiday joy to someone.  When she needs a little Christmas cheer in return, it's given to her without question.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Your Heart Be Light

**Author's Note:**

> Happy holidays, everyone! I have been very busy, but this is something that has been half-written for three years. I have finally finished it, and thought I would share!

** I. Sev **

It’s First Year and she chooses to stay behind during the holidays so that she might be some company to Sev.He is, after all, her best friend, and when he has no home to go to—or, at least, no home that he _wants_ to go to—Lily knows it’s her job to make sure that this is a proper Christmas.And she doesn’t even care about Christmas trees or holly and wreaths or a holiday feast–Hogwarts has taken care of that already.Instead, she wants to share with Severus the love that she’s been shown for so many holidays for so many years.

“You didn’t have to,” he mutters as she hands him a beautifully wrapped present, but she smiles broadly, looking at him knowingly.

“I wanted to,” she assures him.

She watches as he carefully unwraps the package, the bright red and white paper falling to the floor along with the gold ribbons.And as soon as he sees the contents, he stops.

He stares at the gift, a photograph of the two of them on Platform 9¾ on their first day of Hogwarts, both looking a little nervous but excited, taken before the fight about Tuney had started.He can tell she made the frame herself, painted brightly-coloured with tiny little symbols of their friendship.

She bites her lip as he stares at it.“I know it isn’t much,” she says sheepishly.“But I’ve been working on it, and I asked my mum to send me the picture.I wanted to get you something else, but I—”

“It’s perfect,” he says, and immediately she is filled with a warmth inside her heart, excited to be spending the holiday with someone she cares about so much, someone who feels the same way about her.“I love it.”

* * *

 

** II. Sirius **

It’s Second Year and she’s awoken at a little past one o’clock, so early on Christmas morning.Had she been younger, still at her house with her mum and dad, she’d probably have suspected it was Santa Clause in their den; instead, she knows there’s someone in the Common Room below, and instantly she pulls on her robe and descends the stairs.She carefully peeks around the corner to see a figure about a head taller than her, his hands stuffed deep in his pockets.He looks up as she enters the common area.

“Black?” she asks curiously.“What are you doing up this late?”

He shrugs.“Nothing.”

She blinks at him.“No sarcastic, biting comments?” she inquires further.He shrugs again.“Trying to actually act civil this Christmas, then?”

“I figure somebody in my family might as well,” he responds, and she can tell by the way he stiffens that he didn’t mean to say it.

She frowns at his comment.“I understand that you just think I’m a twat,” she tells him.“But I’m an awfully good listener.”

Sirius looks at her and pauses.“And tomorrow we’ll go back to hating each other?” he asks.“This won’t change anything?”

“Nothing,” she tells him, sitting down on a sofa right in front of the fire.

He nods, and she pats the couch beside her.He sits down, pulling his hands out of his pockets, revealing a crumpled piece of parchment in one fist.

“You know my brother, right?” he asks, but he doesn’t look at her.Lily nods before realising this, then gently voices her affirmation.

“Why?” she goes on to ask.

Sirius shakes his head.“He’s the perfect child.Going to end up a Death Eater like my parents want him to be,” he whispers.“My mum’s ready to disown me anyway.She was ready to disown me the day I was sorted into Gryffindor.”He squeezes his eyes shut.“Still, the things she said…”

  
She knows he must mean the parchment he’s holding.It must be a letter, and her heart sinks.

Lily stares sadly at the boy in front of her, for right now he’s not the cruel troublemaker she so often sees, but so small and vulnerable.

“I know that must hurt,” she says in a tiny voice.“I mean, my sister hates me, but it’s nothing as bad as that.But...”

“But?”

“But you have your very own family _here_ ,” she continues.“No matter what your mum says, you will always have Potter and the others, and I know they care about you _very_ much.”

He smiles weakly at her.“You’re right, Evans,” he says, and she smiles at him in return.“My real family’s right here, and... well, they’re more than I could ask for.”

* * *

 

**III. Remus**

It’s Third Year and Lily finds herself completely unable to sleep.  Instead, she ambles downstairs with a nice book, settling herself in a large armchair next to the fire and shutting her eyes.

It only seems to be a few minutes later that the Portrait Hole is flung open, and Lily jerks awake.She turns her head, just barely making out the figure of Remus Lupin in the dawn’s pale light.As he takes a few steps forward, she realises how battered he looks, forcing himself to walk forward.Finally, he looks up, and spots Lily.He stops cold in his tracks.

“Lily!” he said nervously.“I—I just...”

Immediately she’s beside him, taking his arm and guiding him to the sofa.She can tell that her silence is unnerving him a little, but her mind isn’t working fast enough at such an early hour, and even if she _was_ able to speak, she’s not sure what she would say.

She takes out her wand, and Remus immediately starts babbling as she pressing it to a particularly nasty looking gash on his arm.“I went to the Hospital Wing, but it was locked up,” he says quickly, wincing as she heals his wounds.He wants her to say something, but she’s silent and so he continues to fill the silence.“I... I must look a mess.It’s a good thing you’re so bloody good at Charms, I just...I—well, you see, I was on my way back from—”

“I know,” she tells him quietly.

“You—you what?” he stammers.

She looks up at him a little sadly.“I know,” she repeats.She holds eye contact for a moment, seeing the fear in his amber eyes and she can’t take it, directing her gaze back to his cuts and bruises.“That is...I noticed while studying mooncharts in Astronomy... You’re always gone the full moon, aren’t you?”

“I—I don’t know what you—”

She bites her lip.“It’s okay,” she says.“It doesn’t change the way I look at you, just because one night every month you turn into a creature that _isn’t_ you.”

“You—you can’t tell anyone,” he mutters quickly.“Dumbledore—the staff—they already know—”

“I won’t tell,” she says.

“Even Severus?”

“Especially Sev,” she agrees.

He smiles weakly at her.“Thank you,” he sighs.

“And Potter and Black—they already know?” she finds herself asking.

He nods.“James, Sirius, Peter... they found out some time last year.”He smiles slightly.“They... they want to help me.”

“You’re lucky to have them,” she responds.“And well... if Madam Pomphrey is ever out again, I’d be happy to help as well.”

And he smiles at her.“Thank you.”

* * *

 

** IV. Peter **

It’s Fourth Year and it strikes her as strange when she comes down to the Common Room during dinner hour on Christmas Eve, spotting the lone Gryffindor sitting in front of the fire.After all, when is he ever seen without Potter and Black, or at least Remus?She decides to approach him.

“Peter?” she asks.His head jerks up and he stares at her with watery-blue eyes.

“Lily!” he squeaks, and she can’t help but smile.He looks so overwhelmingly sad that she wishes that she could do something for him, so she asks.

“Are you all right?”

He nods reflexively.“Oh, I’m just fine.”

“Where are Potter and the others?” she presses on.

“Off getting dinner.”

“Why aren’t you with them?”

There’s a slight pause.“I’m not very hungry,” he tells her, and she can immediately tell he’s lying.He’s an awful liar, she can see, the way he is fidgeting in his chair, purposefully avoiding her gaze.She sighs, reaching out her hand and placing it on his shoulder.

“Is everything all right, Peter?” she asks.“Are they giving you a hard time again?”

“What?” he asks, taken aback.“James and Sirius?No!Well—all right,” he concedes.“Sirius was this morning, but that’s only because...”

“Because what?” she inquires, gently trying to pull information from him.She was concerned for the poor boy, and while he was indulging her, she was curious if he really wanted to tell anyone.

“If you must know,” he sighs, “it’s because he, er... well, I let slip who I fancy.”

Lily frowns.“And what?He thinks you don’t have a chance with her?”

Peter nods sadly.“Something a bit like that, actually,” he says.“Though he didn’t put it so kindly.It was something more along the lines of, ‘you have a better chance dating the giant squid,’ but that’s just...”

“Ridiculous,” Lily says vehemently, and Peter looks a little afraid of her sudden anger.“There’s no reason you can’t get any girl you want!Who is it, anyway?”

“Hestia Jones,” Peter replies in a tiny voice, and Lily smiles at the very idea.

“Well,” she tells him, “he’s just jealous that Emmeline Vance has turned him down three times already this term, isn’t he now?”Peter smiles sheepishly at her.“I’m in Arithmancy with Hestia and she’s positively lovely.There’s no reason you shouldn’t ask her—in fact, just before break she was telling Mary MacDonald how much she wanted to be asked to the first Hogsmeade weekend in January.”

He grins brightly at her, and her heart swells, felling his excitement radiate.“Thanks Lily,” he says quickly.“That’s so good to hear—really, I can’t thank you enough!

She pats him on the shoulder.“Don’t let them get to you, all right?” she says, and he nods.“You really are a great person, and I’m sure Hestia sees that.I know I do.”

And with a final flash of a smile and a last ‘thank you’, he’s out of the portrait hole, to find Hestia, shouting an elated, “Happy Christmas, Lily!” as he leaves.

She smiles at the portrait hole and sighs.And even though he’s already gone, she murmurs, “Happy Christmas, Peter.”

* * *

 

** V. Sev **

It’s Fifth Year, and the term has been difficult.

It hasn’t been _bad_ , necessarily.Lily has been keeping on top of her studying and assignments, and has been achieving top grades as always.Even then, she finds that she has some extra time to spend as she pleases, usually with her friends.

She supposes that’s what has been so difficult.

She’s noticed—of course she has.She has seen the way Sev is suddenly spending more and more time with his housemates.And while this isn’t necessarily bad, they’re some that she doesn’t trust—Rosier, Wilkes, Avery, Mulciber, and even Regulus Black.She has seen them curse and jinx her own dormmates like Mary, who is Muggle-born.

Sometimes, when Sev isn’t around, they even try to hex her; but she’s a Prefect now.A handful of times, too, she’s used a few harmless charms on them— _Tarantallegra_ and _Rictusempra_ being two of her favourites.They never harmed them, but definitely kept them away from her.

She knows he’s staying at Hogwarts for the holidays, just as he always does.So she seeks him out after Christmas dinner, finally finding him outside. It isn’t snowing any longer, but the grounds are blanketed with it.She only wonders what he’s doing for a moment before shrugging it off.She scoops up some snow in her mittened hands and packs it together.She takes aim and throws it.

The boy whips around, looking livid before his eyes fall on the girl and his expression softens.She can’t fight the giggles as he makes his way over to her, shaking off the snow.

“Thought you were Potter for a second,” he admitts.

She rolls her eyes.“That git,” she mumbles.“Probably sneaking into Hogsmeade with Black for some butterbeer and Zonko’s.”

“Most likely,” he concedes.

“You know,” she says suddenly, looking at him.“You still have a bit of snow…”

Sev cranes his head slightly, looking over his shoulder of his cloak, trying to see what Lily does.“Where—?”

“Here,” she says with a grin, and before he can react she puts her hands together, picking up more of the snow and hitting the boy with it—this time, right in the face.

He splutters, then laughs.She laughs too, and she only has a moment to think of how much she has missed this before she’s running and he’s after her.It’s a full-out snow _war_ until they both collapse, nearly half an hour later, out of breath.

They lay in the snow, noses and cheeks rosy from the cold and their running.They’re still laughing, their shoulders brushing.

“Nothing’s ever going to change, right Sev?” she says.“We’ll always be friends?”

She doesn’t know why she asks it.It just seems like she needs to say it.She needs to somehow try to voice how afraid she is that they’ll grow apart, and that before long there will be nothing between them.She knows it’s childish, but she had ask.

He grips her hand in response, and she smiles.His reply is fierce, spoken with such conviction that she believes it.

“Always.”

* * *

 

** VI. James **

It’s Sixth Year and suddenly, she can’t remember what it was that she once loved about Christmas.

Once, the castle had seemed so brilliant during the holidays.It felt so warm and inviting, like her second home.It had been all bright colors and decorations and it seemed to radiate magic.

Now, the hallways seem bleak and cold.Everything looks dark and she can’t help but feel hopeless.

The castle is nearly empty—but, she thinks dimly, not empty enough.She can’t bring herself to go down to the feast.She doesn’t want to see Sev.Even though the pain has dulled over the last six months, the holidays still seem too painful.She can’t help but remember his promise the year before, that they’d always be friends.But then again, he had made her so many promises, and he’d broken them all.

She can’t even seek refuge with her other friends.Mary, Alice, and the other Gryffindor girls have all gone home for Christmas, to spend it with their families.She had only briefly entertained the thought of going home.But thinking of her sister and the things that she’d said…It would be better if she just stayed away.

So she is.She’s staying away from home, and staying away from the Christmas feast.Instead, she perches herself in the window of Gryffindor Tower, looking out at the snow.

She sniffles, swiping at her eyes as she rests her head on her knees.

“Evans?”

She startles slightly, turning around.“Potter,” she says awkwardly, trying to force a smile.“I... I thought everyone would be down at the feast.”

To her surprise, he doesn’t quip a response, or even ask why she isn’t there.Instead, he just crosses the Common Room, running his hand through his messy black hair, then pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

He sits down on the sill beside her.They’re close, close enough that her socked toes can feel the heat of his leg.But she doesn’t move, and he doesn’t seem undeterred.

“Why are you here?” she asks him suddenly.The question bursts from her, before she can stop it.She doesn’t mean to say it, and can’t help but regret it.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asks in reply.

Lily shakes her head.“No,” she murmurs.

“Then I’ll stay,” he says.“Nobody should be alone on Christmas.”

She closes her eyes, tilting her head over to feel the cold glass of the window against her cheek.She inhales, then lets the breath out slowly.She feels like she could cry, but at the same time, she just feels too _tired_ to.

“Thank you,” she tells him instead, her voice just above a whisper.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.

She sighs.“I just feel like…so much has _changed_ ,” she says, unsure of how else to verbalize what she’s feeling.

James nods in understanding.“It has,” he admits.“There is so much that has changed since we started at Hogwarts, but… that’s to be expected, isn’t it?It’s unavoidable.”

“I suppose so.”

“But it isn’t just everything and everyoneelse that’s changed, you know,” he says, and Lily looks up at him curiously.He smiles at her gently.“You’ve changed, too, Evans.”

She considers this.

“Hell,” he says, and he leans in a little bit closer, “I can tell just because you haven’t told me off and cursed me yet.”

She chuckles, and the expression on his face is magnificent.It looks likes he’s just won the Quidditch Cup single-handedly, the way his grin spreads crookedly across his face.She likes the idea that she put that smile there.

“It is Christmas,” she allows.“I’m trying to be civil.”

“And I thank you for that,” he says with a wink.“But I do mean it.And I think it says so much about the person you are that when things changed, even if they hurt you, you didn’t let them best you.You grew and you got better.”

And then, Lily looks at the boy in front of her like she’s never seen him before.Only a handful of times has someone seen something within her that she hadn’t seen herself.She looks at James, and she considers just how much he has grown as well.

He smiles gently at her, then pulls himself up.“I suppose I should see if I can make it to the feast before dessert’s over,” he says.“Would you like anything?”

She shakes her head.“No, I’m fine, thank you.”

James nods.“I’ll see you later, then,” he says.“Happy Christmas.”

“Happy Christmas,” Lily responds, and she watches as the boy makes his way to the portrait hole.

“Wait!” she calls after him, and he turns around.She takes a deep breath, climbing off the windowsill and walking over to him.“Potter— _James—_ ”She stops, her mouth still open, but her brain can’t form the words she wants to.Instead, she quickly leans in, kissing the boy swiftly on the cheek.He blushes profusely, and she finds herself feeling a little abashed as well.

“Thank you,” she whispers with a faint smile.

* * *

 

** VII. James **

It’s Seventh Year, and so far, it has been Lily’s favourite Christmas at Hogwarts.

So far, the day has been spent, in its entirety, with her second family.They exchanged gifts, then went on to have a snowball fight of epic proportions on the grounds.After warming up by the fire, they went down for the Christmas feast and ate until they were stuffed.They returned to the Common Room full, tired, but definitely happy.

Now, James sits in his favourite armchair by the fire, reveling in the sensation of the holiday.She watches as Peter and Sirius play Exploding Snap.Remus is stretched out on the floor, looking at the new book Lily gave him for Christmas.

Lily smiles at them all.She tries to hide her smile as she crosses the Common Room.She sits on the arm of James’s oversized chair, and he looks up to her.He’s smiling, and her heart flutters in the way it always seems to when she sees that expression.

After a moment, as his eyes roam over her, his grin turns into a smirk and he quirks an eyebrow.“You’re hiding something, Evans,” he says.

She chuckles.“Why do you say that?” she asks coyly.

“I’m pretty sure I mastered that look,” he says.

She can’t help the laugh that bubbles up out of her chest.She knows it’s the kind of laugh that takes up her whole face, turning her cheeks pink and crinkling her eyes.In turn, James places a hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing from the corner of her eye.

“So, do you plan on telling me?” he asks.“Or will I have to force it out of you?”

With a smirk, she pulls the small sprig of green from behind her back, holding her hand out so that it dangles from her finger.

This time, it’s James’s turn to laugh.“Why, Miss Evans,” he says with a blinding smile, “whatever do you need mistletoe for?”

“Well, Mr. Potter,” she says, trying her best to feign innocence, “I had a few ideas.”

They meet halfway, their lips colliding in the middle for a kiss.It’s only when Sirius catcalls they separate.

“I would say get a room,” Sirius quips, “but, you know, I sleep there too.”

Lily rolls her eyes, and James leans in to press a kiss to her nose.She wrinkles it in response, though there’s a smile on her lips.

“I love you,” he murmurs.

Her breath catches for a second, her heart pounding at the words.But without a doubt, she feels them, too.So she doesn’t need to think about her response.

For just a moment, she remembers last Christmas.She thinks of what James had said, and marvels in just how much has changed.Only this time, she isn’t disappointed in the least.

She smiles.

“I love you, too.”


End file.
